Sep 17/05 - Shabbat Ki Tetze

Commentary by Chazzan Aníbal Mass

In our Parashah we find a differentiation between “to love” and “to want with passion”.

Let us pay attention to the following verse in the section that refers to what happens with the soldier who finds a beautiful woman, whom he wants to possess, among the captives of war:

“But if you didn’t like her, you shall let her go where she wants...”  (Deuteronomy 21:14)

If we are paying special attention to our verse, we can discover an incongruity in the conjugation of the verb “to like”, because it should be written “if you won’t like”, in future tense; but clearly in original Hebrew the verb is conjugated in past tense.

My reading is that the Torah wants to teach us that the “love” of the soldier for the beautiful captive is destined to not succeed from its beginning. Love doesn’t combine very well with the passion understood as emotional flare. Because love is usually permanent, but passion is a powerful tempest that razes and disappears in an instant. Because love is generous delivery and passion is selfish ambition. 

Allow me to explain a little more. There is a substantial contrast between the passion born in lasciviousness and wanting a person because of a rational evaluation. The Torah teaches us that when a person wants to establish a conjugal relationship based on passion and physical attraction, in fact there is not love there, not even a real relationship, but a mere desire. That is to say, it is a relationship dedicated to failure from the beginning, because, when the desire finally disappears, there is no reason to maintain the relationship. Unfortunately this is the “love” we learn from most of the “idols” of cinema and TV. 

It is not vain that the Torah says:“…not to follow after your own heart and your own eyes, which you are inclined to whore after.”  (Numbers 15:39)

 If we follow the desires of our heart or our eyes, we are on the way to “prostituting” our purest spiritual essence. On the contrary, if we know the content of our heart and if we notice our inclination toward the external thing, but we behave according to the Torah and the mitzvot, we are safe from falling into an unsuccessful relationship. Just as the rabbi Noah Weinberg defines love: “Love is taking pleasure in another’s virtues.”

In summary, let me conclude with a teaching of our Tradition:

When love depends on something outside itself and that thing comes to an end, love comes to an end. When love does not depend on something outside itself, that love will endure forever. (Pirkei Avot 5:16)

Shabbat Shalom.