In Jewish cemeteries, I see small stones placed on some of the monuments. Why?— An Observant Non-Jew

Over the years I have been asked this question scores of times and have collected a number of interesting explanations. In the Hebrew Bible, in the First Book of Samuel (25:29) Avigayl (in English, “Abigail”) says to David:

…if anyone sets out to pursue you, and seek your life, the lifel of my lord will be bound up in the bundle of life” (tz’rurah bitz’ror hachayim) in care of the Lord your G-d; but He will fling away the lives of your enemies, as from the hollow of a sling.

This metaphor is appropriate, but needs a little explanation: In ancient times, shepherds carried a pouch filled with stones, one for each lamb in the flock. If a new lamb was born, a stone was added. If a lamb died, a stone was removed. The shepherd kept count of the flock by dropping stones into the pouch as the sheep passed by. Avigayil’s words must have been high praise to the warrior-shepherd David. (This also explains the familiar Ecclesiastes 3:5 verse: “A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together.…”)

The “bundle of stones” is also central to the philosophy of Olam ha-Bah (“the world to come”) and appears in the Jewish memorial prayer called the “K-el malei rachamim”, which begins with the words “G-d filled with Mercy”.

This explanation also fits in nicely with why we put rocks on headstones: it’s a symbolic gesture of our wishing that the souls of our dearly departed be included in the bundle of eternal life and not flung out as stones launched from the hollow of a sling.

A second explanation originates the practice in the Book of Ezekiel (39:15), where the prophet charges: “As those who traverse the country make their rounds, any one of them seeing a human bone shall erect a marker beside it, until those who are burying have interred them….” That is, the command to mark a grave is in force at any time; and for all who visit it. Even after a grave has been dug, it is a duty to replenish, repair, or restore the cairn (a burial site covered with stones).

However, the most ancient recorded Jewish explanation arises from another archaeological tidbit:  In biblical Israel, cemeteries were always outside city walls in the surrounding fields and cover burial sites with mounded stones. (See Genesis 35:20: “Over her grave  Jacob set up a pillar….”!)

It’s reasonable to conclude that these mounded stones not only marked the burial place but also protected it from animals clawing at the remains. Placing stones would have been a continuation of the act of chesed, or “lovingkindness.” When people came to visit the burial site, they picked up the stones that had eroded from the mound and replaced them over the grave.

The little stones remind us that love and memory will endure long after granite has crumbled.

Do you have a question you would like answered in this column? Email information@shaareyzedek.mb.ca.